Hosier Lane is ugly, dangerous and depraved

Imagine being a primary school teacher with a group of Grade Four students, exploring Australia’s number one Instagram spot, Hosier Lane, the best free tourist attraction in Australia as voted by Lonely Planet.

Then a run-down, filth covered, semi-naked, large, bearded man announces, “it’s time for you to move on, we’re about to get high”.

Another group of visitors, which has a tour guide who is clearly more accustomed to such noise continues talking about the brilliant artwork of Matt Adnate, until the man steps up on him and, with great meaning and threat, and says, “time to move on,” while taking syringes out of a brown paper bag and making vulgar threats.

Both the guide and the teacher move their groups to safety, the teacher then begs the security guard outside Culture Kings, to call the police. The tour guide, who has a selection of gap year students from the US who had freshly arrived that morning, repeats the plea. “Hey, can you please call the cops!” The security guard said “no”, and claimed that “the police won’t come, they don’t care about Hosier.” 

I run the Melbourne Street Art Tours, and that tour guide was from Blender Studios, and we do care about Hosier Lane. The tour guide is deeply concerned about the safety of the tours and the lane, commenting that “the frustration and stress on the face of the primary school teacher was evident, she was truly terrified, as were the children.”

“I took my group away, to safer grounds, one of the guests exclaiming, ‘I live in LA and even Skid Row isn’t that bad’.”

What a welcome to Melbourne!

And what an education for the kids …! I don’t like the term “junkie”; I believe addicts of any kind struggle with addiction; they can lose so much and are often very nice people. I see it as a medical condition, a sickness of circumstance. However, some addicts can be very anti-social and can be quite unpredictable.

These guys clearly, were not nice people, they didn’t care about Hosier Lane, the kids, the art, or the community. 

How did Hosier Lane ever reach such a state? This is not an isolated incident. Our tour guides must contend with this and many other problems, on a daily basis. 

It can be very scary and confronting, and keep in mind that most of the people we take on the tour are either tourists or students. It has gotten so bad and unsafe that we are thinking of taking Hosier off the tour. 

Artists are scared to paint there; recently a Blender Studios artist was robbed at knife point for his paint. Let’s be clear, addicts go there because they know, for all intents and purposes, it’s a demilitarised zone. They can do whatever they want and meet up with like-minded people to get up to nefarious activities and make the lane very anti-social and very unsafe.

Youth Projects operates a drop-in centre in Hosier Lane called the Living Room, which has been in Hosier for about the past 14 years. They provide free healthcare and support to people who are homeless or are at risk of homelessness and have complex health needs.

Youth Projects gives them food, syringes, washing facilities, a warm space on a cold day, showers, legal advice and so much more. There is no other service like it in the CBD. What Youth Projects provides to at-risk Melbournians is so important. 

But it has come at a cost, a big cost. Hosier Lane is like a war zone.

Is this how we want people to see Melbourne? Hosier is a crucial part of the cultural fabric of Melbourne. It is the dashboard of the city, one that most Melbournians love, and tourists nearly always visit for their Instagram moment.

I feel like it’s time to take a greater look at the problems in Hosier Lane and come up with a plan to fix them.

So, this is a call out to our council, the police, Youth Space; let’s get together and come up with a solution that can help everyone. Let’s save our lane!

Let’s restore it to its former glory, let’s make it beautiful, vibrant and most of all, safe, safe for tourists, artists, and the businesses that operate there, let’s make it safe for everyone, because right now – it’s none of those things.

Let’s make Hosier Lane an awesome place that all Melbournians can be proud of. 

With respect, Adrian Doyle – Blender Studios

And with special comments from Black Tom Cassidy •